Wednesday, January 21, 2015

My PCOS Is Out Of Control

When Kieran was 2 weeks old, I went in to check how my c-section scar was healing. I hopped up on the scale and was please to see that I had lost all of my baby weight, plus a few pounds. "For once," I thought, "my body is doing something right!"

Fast forward a few months and I've gained all of the weight back, plus some. The 40+ pounds I worked so hard to lose before getting pregnant are not-so-slowly creeping back around my midsection, and it's painfully obvious by how my clothes aren't fitting anymore. I'm also growing a beard faster than my husband, which results in him having to wax it every week.

My body is out of whack and I can feel it.

I know that Metformin and a low-carb diet (even going so far as a low-amylose diet) works wonders to get my hormones back in line, but I was told that I shouldn't be on Metformin while I'm breastfeeding. Truthfully, breastfeeding Kieran is more important to me right now than fitting back in my jeans, but I'm afraid of how letting my hormones run rampant right now will affect us trying to conceive baby #2.

It took me about a year to lose those 40 pounds, and that was on a fairly strict low amylose diet with exercise. Let's be honest, even if Kieran weaned himself tomorrow, I barely have time to throw some spaghetti in a pot, let alone try to make noodles out of carrots. Thankfully exercise isn't too difficult; Kieran loves to go on walks in his stroller, so I try to take him out when the weather is nice.

If we're lucky to have another child, we'd like to have them fairly close in age. The current plan is to start trying again when Kieran is about a year old. After three cycles au natural, we'll go back to our RE. I'm afraid that if I start back on the Metformin again when Kieran is a year, it'll take me another year to lose the weight and get my hormones in check enough to sustain a pregnancy. Who knows how long it'll take for us to get pregnant this time around. We could looking at the kids to be 3, 4, 5 years apart (obviously my mind is great at imagining the worst case scenario.) Of course we'll take another baby any time he or she decides to join us, but it would be nice for one aspect of our family making to go as planned.

I'm not ready to stop breastfeeding, but I'm wondering how long I should go before trying to get things ready to TTC again. It's a strange pull between wanting to do what's best for my outside baby, while also trying to prepare for the baby in my dreams.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Kieran 5 Months

Height: 25.25 inches
Weight: 12 pounds, 14 ounces 
Head circumference: 17 inches
Clothing: We're starting to put away his 0-3 month clothes, especially his pajamas with feet because he's too tall for them, even though he hasn't outgrown them in the waist. He only has a few 3-6 month PJs, so we may have to break out the 6 month size soon.
Still loving our cloth diapers. We've started having to increase the rise setting in his overnight diapers because we've had to add extra absorbency and it makes his diapers too bulky.
Nicknames: Chubby Cheekers, Bubba, Bubster, Mister Man, Grumpy Gills when he's super fussy.
Food: Kieran is officially a breastfed and formula fed baby. After battling last month with his weight gain, his doctor suggested we start supplementing with formula. I was really against it and asked if we could supplement with solid food instead, which she agreed to. However, after talking to a lactation consultant who told me that starting solids before 6 months could lead to food allergies, we decided to use formula. As of right now, he gets two 5 ounce bottles - around 11 am and 3 pm - and one bottle before bed. We have just started making his bedtime bottle a hefty 8 ounces and adding a bit of oatmeal to hopefully keep him full overnight. He gained 1lb, 3oz in two weeks once we started supplementing. 
Our feeding schedule looks roughly like this:
7-7:30 am - Kieran wakes up and nurses
10 ish - nurse at work
11-noon - bottle
1ish - nurse at work
2-3 - bottle
4:30-5 - nurse
6:30ish- nurse
7:30-8:30 - big bottle and nurse down for bed
8:30-7:30 - he'll wake up and nurse anywhere from once to four times overnight
Sleep: Sleep started getting better once we realized he was waking up so much because he was hungry. I still can't say that he's sleeping through the night because we have good and bad nights. He usually goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 and will wake up anywhere between one and 4 times a night. I always go in a nurse him, and he falls back asleep quickly.
Naps: I can confidently say that we have a nap schedule now. He'll fall asleep between 10 and noon, between 2 and 4, and usually on the drive home. We still struggle to get him to nap at home on the weekends, and we think it's because Keegan is home which is new and different to him. At work, he'll normally sleep at least an hour, but at home, we struggle to get longer than half an hour.
Milestones & Tidbits:
- K read Kieran "The Night Before Christmas" for the first time
- had his first Christmas and New Years! We spent Christmas morning with my side of the family and Kieran got passed around to each family member who helped him open a present. He was surprisingly good at ripping the paper, but often tried to eat it. We then drove down to K's parents and did Christmas night with them.
- Met his "uncle" Brendan for the first time (K's best friend) 
- he's noticing facial features more. When he's nursing, he'll reach up and try to touch my eyes which has resulted in a lot of eye pokes.
- He's also started playing with his feet while he nurses. It's cute until he looses grip and I get a foot to the chin.
- He's found my hair and LOVES to pull it.
- He's starting to notice our cats. He'll track them when they run across the house, watch them intently when they hop up on the couch to cuddle with us, and loves to pet them. We're already starting the "no, don't pull Mika's ear. Be gentle when you pet her" dialogue.
- He's babbling up a storm. I know his babbles don't mean anything, but I've definitely heard "mama" a few times. He's also found his love of shrieking.
- He has taken to pulling and putting the nursing cover in his mouth. Many times I've had to make a quick catch of the cover before I flash everyone around me.
- Kieran loves my dad's beard.
- Kieran "made" his grandparents and aunts artwork for Christmas
- Mizzou went to the Citrus Bowl on January 1, so we all dressed in our Tigers gear 
- He's using his pacifier less and less. He'll fall asleep with it in, but let it fall out within seconds. He'll also take it out and try to put it back in his mouth, but 9 times out of 10, he starts sucking on the side.
- We watched him take his pacifier out of his mouth and toss it across his crib one night, which meant I couldn't find it when I went in to console him, so we got a pacifier clip and attached it to his sleep sack.

Likes: eating, bath time, lights, people watching, sitting and looking at the world, LOVES his blanket.
Dislikes: being cold, being in the car seat for long periods of time, especially if it's not moving.
He fell asleep with his fingers in the sign language "I Love You"

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Kieran 4 Months

As always, you can see this post with pictures at our family blog, If you'd like the password, leave a comment below. Make sure I'm able to reply to you by either leaving your email, or making sure you're not a "no-reply blogger." If you need to figure our your reply status, follow these directions

This is about 3 weeks late, but better late than never, right?
Height: 25 inches
Weight: 11 pounds, 11 ounces
Head circumference: 17 inches
Clothing: I think he's finally growing out of his 0-3 month clothing. Not so much in the stomach area, but in the length. He's growing so tall, so quickly that he's going to outgrow his clothes in length before he's too chubby for them. He can also wear 3 month, and 3-6 month clothing.
Still loving our cloth diapers. He's still on the smallest waist and rise setting.
Nicknames: Chubby Cheekers, Bubba, Bubster, Mister Man, Grumpy Gills when he's super fussy.
Food: Overall, this was the most difficult month with Kieran. No matter what we did, he wasn't sleeping, so it was suggested that we either start him on solids or formula to see if he wasn't sleeping because he was hungry. We did a week of cereal and then did a few days of sweet potato, but ended up switching to formula. He's still breastfeeding about 6-10 times per 24 hours depending on how often he wakes up overnight.
Sleep: This was the month of pretty much no sleep. Starting at around 3.25 months, Kieran was waking up every 1.5 hours, and at times, every 45 minutes. I would nurse him every time, but no matter how long I would feed him, he would be up again shortly after. We thought it was because we had moved him from the swing to the pack n' play in preparation for taking the pack n' play up to Missouri for Christmas, but we found out that it was because he was hungry all the time. He wasn't getting enough calories during the day, so even though he would eat at every wake up, he was still starving.
Naps: I think our schedule of naps started getting better during this month. He'll still nap between 10 and noon, between 2 and 4, and then usually fall asleep on the way home / out to dinner after work. He'll sleep anywhere from 20 minutes to a few hours. Still sleeps really well in the Ergo. He's stopped falling sleep in my arms which makes me sad. I miss the baby cuddles, even though it meant I wasn't getting anything done.
Milestones & Tidbits:
- visited the car museum for the first time on November 15
- Had his first Thanksgiving!
- met his cousins, great-grandparents, Uncle D and Aunt B for the first time
- saw his first snow fall
- had his first time away from Mom and Dad staying with Grandpa N while we went to a Mizzou game (Keegan's first!)
- Met Santa for the first time...and a second
- Saw his first Christmas tree

Likes: eating, bath time, lights, people watching, sitting and looking at the world.
Dislikes: being cold, being in the car seat for long periods of time, especially if it's not moving. SLEEP.
Baby + Work Update: We have our good and bad days. I had an office to myself for about a week before circumstances made one of my semi co-workers move in with me. Working around another person with a bunch of baby gear, is always difficult, but thankfully she's also a mom so she understands. I've come up with a system that gives me 5-15 minutes of hands free time to work at my computer at a time. I try to get my desk work done while he's sleeping and do my gallery work while he's awake. He's pretty content in his stroller if he's able to look around and see what I'm doing.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

2014: A Pretty Kick Ass Year

One of my favorite Twitter ladies posted this image last week, and I thought it would be an interesting way to reflect on 2014 


1. Kieran's birth on August 14 (obviously)
2. Keegan and I going to a Mizzou Game
3. Our baby shower in May. We were so lucky to be able to share our pregnancy with our family and friends on that special day.
4. Checking an item off our bucket lists and seeing Alton Brown live in Atlanta
5. Meeting new friends and creating stronger friendships with existing ones.
6. Taking on new responsibilities at work
7. Keegan got a raise
8. Starting to furnish our house with "adult" furniture instead of mismatched WalMart pieces left over from college
9. Having Keegan's grandparents meet Kieran. We don't know how long they'll be with us, and it was really important for them to meet him.
10. Paid off one of my student loans!


1. I'll be completely honest and say Kieran's birth. While I'm over the moon in love with the end result, it didn't go as planned and set me up for most likely having a repeat c-section if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again.
2. Being so far away from friends and family.
3. Gestational diabetes.
4. Having to supplement with formula because I'm not able to sustain Kieran myself.
5. Many of our friends have moved because of Keegan's work being sold.

Game Changers
1. Keegan's work being sold and purchased by a new company.
2. Having a child....obviously

Things You Focused On
1. Family. Both building our own, and making sure our families are healthy. My dad and Keegan's mom both had major surgeries that were difficult to deal with being so far away.
2. Work. I've taken on new responsibilities which has allowed me to grow personally and professionally, but has also kept me there for many late nights.

Things You Forgot
1. I hate to admit this, but my house. A lot of the time, it's a mess. Not dirty, but it's cluttered. We started tackling this by cleaning out our closets and donating a bunch of clothes, but there's a lot more to be done.
2. My health. As much as I wanted to work out during pregnancy, that didn't happen, and it sure hasn't happened since Kieran was born. I really want to focus on moving in some way, every day, in the new year.
3. My relationship with Keegan. We were doing really well at the beginning of the year, but having a child changes things. We've only had one opportunity to go out just the two of us, and we were surrounded by thousands of people at the Mizzou game. I really want to focus on having some more "us" time, even if that means cuddling while watching a movie while the baby sleeps.

This year was one of the most amazing years of my life (hence why I couldn't only think of a few disappointments!) One of the biggest highlights was having a fairly easy pregnancy that resulted in my beautiful little boy, but there were so many other wonderful things that happened as well. While many of our friends have moved away due to Keegan's job changing hands, we've made some new friendships and strengthened the ones we already had. Our friends have become like family to us and they're a cherished part of our lives. I've also made many new friends through the blog world, and on Twitter. You ladies have kept me sane and have become some of my best friends.

Work has been going well for both Keegan and I. It keeps as busy and allows us to grow, both personally and professionally, but it's also stressful at times, more so for Keegan than myself. I'm so lucky to  be able to take Kieran to work with me. It allows me to continue working, while being there for my son during an important time in his life.

Our kitties are doing well, we have an amazing house and great jobs. We were so lucky to bring our son into the world. While there were some scares with the health of some of our family members, overall, this year was pretty great. Hopefully 2015 is just as amazing!